my feelings?

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea what so ever. The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them. I love him but I cannot show it, want him but he cannot know it, need him but I know it'll never be, if only he needed me. I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind. I wonder, what I could Do or say to make him like me. I wonder, what or who I need to be, to be his. I wonder, when just being me will be enough. I look at him as a friend, then I realized I loved him. There are so many things I wanted to say to him but never had. Like: i love your eyes...                                        you are cute when you smile =) Sometimes I wonder what you think of me or if you do at all. It's hard not to love someone when he's all you ever think about. Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. It's not telling you how I feel that scares me it's what you'll say back. It's so crazy, you walked into the room that day, just like every other day except this time my heart skipped a beat. Isn't it funny how you can still get butterflies in your stomach, even though you have known the person for years. It's amazing how one little conversation can change things forever. It is tearing me up on the inside to have these feelings for you, but I can't get rid of them. I sit here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me belongs to you. Sometimes the one love you can't get over is the one love you never really had. If your wish does not come true then something better was meant for you. All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go. It's weird how sometimes things just have to happen to see how you actually feel about someone. When you thought I was in love with him, you were so wrong, baby, I was loving you. Sometimes there are things that are worth the chance, and when you find them, everything in the world doesn't matter. I used to think that if I loved you enough you would realize it and love me back, but I can only love so much for so long. If I was pretty would you love me? If I was perfect would you want me? If I loved you would you leave me? You sit here and wish for that one person... be careful when you wish for it... because the one person may come along and you realized you made that wish at the wrong time. Never long for anyone from the past. There is a reason why they never made it to your future. It's just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're mine. We'll do what we gotta do, see what we gotta see, and if in the end we end up together, then we'll know it was meant to be. Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you... and I wish on a star that somewhere you're thinking of me, too. I wish you could hear all the words I'm too afraid to say. Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever. The hardest part is being around him knowing you can't have him and he'll never want you. Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Don't screw up the best thing that ever happened to you just because you're a little unsure about who you are. Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know thats your problem, forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me. Why can't you just tell me how you feel, because how you act is confusing me. The way u smile at me makes me think you too, have same feelings toward me... I don't know which is worse, keeping your love for someone a secret or telling them and risk being rejected. Life and love is kinda funny some time cause the guys we want are so hard to get, but the ones that we dont want... are so hard to get rid of... I can't just drift away from you, I can't get on with my life and not give you a second thought.  Even though I've stopped "liking you" every time someone mentions your name my head turns towards them.  Why is it we always fall for our classmate? Is it because we know we can trust them? Is it because we know them so well? Is it because of the way they know exactly what's going on in our heads? Or is it because they are there any day, anytime, anywhere we need them? I think we love them because they are there when there is nothing in it for them except for that little glimmer of hope that maybe someday there will be. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them... I'm glad you're happy. I can't say that I'm completely happy for you but I guess that's just a part of life, I'll always have feelings for you but the rest of the world is forcing me to move on. I've learned that there are people that truly love you, but they just don't know how to show it. For someone who is suppose to be "just friends" why do I always get butterflies in my stomach when you smile at me. It's not that we aren't meant to be together, I think that we're just not ready for forever. You don't just stop feeling something for someone because you start feeling something for someone else. There are so many things I'd like to tell you. I wish you could understand, but if I told you. Both our worlds would change. For good or bad, I'm not sure. I don't think of you as a crush anymore... you're more like a bad habit that I can't shake. Why is it that no matter how many times I remind myself that we can't be together, I still won't let myself fall for anyone else? I've learned that guys can make the best of friends... i have a guy best friend...I can tell him anything and everything...  i told him about me liking our friend coz i trusted him a lot.. he understands me very well and he shares his secrets with me too.. People that are meant to be together always find their way in the end. I'd rather be your lover then your friend, but I'd rather be your friend then your nobody. I've convinced everyone else that I don't like you and that I don't love you anymore. Now all I need to do is convince myself. I just thought I'd let you know... you're my friend for almost 3 years and that's okay... I find myself looking passed that and into your eyes where I could see myself falling for you. If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurting anyway. Usually, when any guy looks me in the eyes... I have to look away after about 3 seconds, but with him... I struggle to take my eyes off of him. You seem like a sweet person.  you have this amazing power to make me feel absolutely crazy each time I see you. I don't know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I'm near you. Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood.that is my problem... I wanna be the girl that he talks to his friends about, I wanna be the girl that always comes first, I wanna be the girl he never wants to leave alone, I wanna be the girl who's hand he's holding, I wanna be the girl he looks at and smiles and then says to his friends, "That's her, she's the one." Look into my eyes for one moment, and then you will realize how much you mean to me. I play the same song, over and over cause it reminds me of you. I want to be the girl who makes your bad days better, and the one that makes you say "my life has changed since I met her". I can't get you out of my mind, I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you... how good you look when you smile, how much I love your laugh...  I wonder what will happen the next time we are together, I know one thing for sure, your the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. You might just think of me as some girl... but I just want you to know, that I'm the one girl who took one look at you, and fell harder than I ever have in my entire life. Why is it always as soon as I start to like you, you like another girl.. ♥211 ♥